Haven’t we all been victims to the ‘log kya kahenge‘ phenomenon countless times in our life? And haven’t we spoken at length about how often society comes in the way of our dreams and happiness?
However, we hardly speak about how harsh we can sometimes be when it comes to matters of self-judgement. and about the impact it creates in our life.
There’s a need to remember that the single most important relationship that matters in our life is the relationship we share with ourselves. A relationship that is entirely defined by the thoughts we have about ourselves.
Think about it. How many of us, after a rejection, would tell ourselves the words we would have told our best friend if he/she were in that place?
More often than not, we are our own biggest critic. And while these criticisms may help us push ourselves beyond our comfort zones, there are times when these judgments stop us from expressing ourselves completely. Sometimes, they build us a wall of excuses, becoming the perfect defence as to why we can’t do or achieve certain things. It is these judgments that become the limiting beliefs which constantly pull us down.
Why are we bothered by another person’s judgement? Perhaps it is because when we look within, we would find ourselves somewhat agreeing with the judgement meted out to us. That is what really bothers us. And while it might be obvious in some cases, it is deceptively subtle in others.
But remember: it is only to the extent to which we believe in a judgment about us, that we allow it to bother us.
So maybe, instead of complaining about society’s judgments and expecting the society to change, it would make sense to look at the judgments we have formed about ourselves, and how they stop us from what we desire to achieve in our life.
Sometimes, you need to be kind to yourself. Or maybe all times.
Take a deep breath, look into yourself and acknowledge yourself for all the battles you’ve fought to reach as far as you have. You need to give yourself the permission to be the way you are and enjoy every bit of it. Because no one else can do it for you.
“It’s not your job to like me – it’s mine” – Byron Katie