Forgiveness doesn’t mean to condone what happened. It doesn’t mean befriending them, sympathizing with them or validating what they have done to you. It means you choose to not harm yourself anymore. It means you are taking responsibility for your healing. It means you are setting yourself free. It means you are not gonna let this (or any) scar stop you from experiencing life to its fullest.
Someone you loved very dearly must have hurt you, betrayed you, or left you shattered. You must still be struggling to comprehend, believe and digest what has happened. A part of you might be hoping to wake up one day and find out it was all just a nightmare. But a part of you knows it isn’t.
You must be wondering if you have attracted this pain in any way. If there was any way you could have avoided this. If there is anything that you could learn from this.
You now doubt you could ever trust anyone again without having this colour your perception. You must be questioning if you could ever be your old, carefree self again, the one who sees the goodness in everyone, the one who is optimistic, the one who is innocent and trusts life.
A part of you might be screaming for justice, and wanting to fight for it. While another part of you might be wondering what justice could mean in this situation.
Anger must be burning inside you. Anger towards yourself, anger towards the other, and anger towards the society/world. While you know the anger and regret you hold is not going to help, you may not know any other way to respond. You know the only way out is to let go, forgive, and move on, but a huge part of you must be resisting the idea. It must be questioning the idea of letting someone walk away that easy, after having shattered you. It must be questioning why you should ever forgive someone who has made a mess of your life. It must be questioning if they really deserve forgiveness?
Well, whether they deserve it or not, you owe it to yourself. Each minute you are carrying this pain and anger within you, you are letting them dominate your mind, you are letting them burn you from within.
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. – Buddha
This new year I invite you to gift yourself the joy of forgiveness. Set yourself free.